A Time of Epiphanies
by Lady Feather
Summary: Set between FAKE Volume 7 and Like, Like, Love. JJ-centric story, some Dee/Ryo. What was happening with JJ as Dee conquered Ryo? possible OOC JJ. ADULT THEME Characters belong to Sanami Matoh except for Walter. He's mine.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

JJ stared out the window, not seeing a thing as his thoughts wandered to the dark-haired god that had just left the room. Why didn't Dee want him? He was intelligent, good looking, dressed to the nines, had perfect penmanship – what more could he want? JJ continued to daydream while absently doodling on the paperwork he was supposed to be filling out for his and Drake's latest case, an arsonist targeting apartment buildings.

JJ sighed. Lately Dee had been even more aggressive towards him than normal, yelling at him almost every time he managed to get in a quick glomp or hug. He even slammed him into the wall one morning, threatening to do so on a regular basis if he didn't leave him alone. In fact, Dee was quite different lately, in many ways. More focused, subdued, quiet, except when it came to him. Dammit.

Oh, he still tormented Ryo, but even that had a different feel to it - like it was more for show. Maybe Dee had given up on his foolish notion of making Ryo his. Maybe he found someone that would return his advances willingly. No, he didn't want to think that. There had to be a chance Dee would be his. Someday. Surely he would eventually see what a catch JJ was.

Ryo. Now that man was an enigma. He came across as sexless. He showed very little interest in women, none at all in men. Maybe that's why he acted the way he did – he'd forgotten what sex was and he needed to be reminded. Or did he even care about sex? What the hell did Dee see in him anyway? Pretty face yes, so-so bod from what he could tell through the dress clothes, but that was about as far as it went. He was all work and no play, career to the core. He did have good clothes sense though, not like Drake.

And he still reacted to Dee's advances the same way, maybe even worse, damned near taking Dee's head off when he tried to hug or kiss him. The fireworks in their office this morning still had everybody running for cover. No one wanted to be on Ryo's wrong side today. Even Rose was pointedly avoiding him. For such a calm person he had one hell of a temper, and although he rarely allowed it to show it was fully in charge right now. He wondered what Ryo thought Dee had done to trigger this blowup. His Dee couldn't have done anything that horrible to cause that type of reaction. It was probably Ryo's fault anyway. Well, Ryo wasn't his problem. It wasn't his partner that was breathing fire. And he'd never treat his Dee like that.

The ringing phone pulled JJ from his thoughts and back to the reality of police work. After a short conversation, JJ hung up the phone, smiling. Looked like one of his sources had come through with some good information. He'd have to find Drake and check out this lead. Their firebug may have just tripped up!

After grabbing his coat and Drake, JJ stopped to let the Chief know they were heading out for a while and why. The snitch had given a local address not far from the station, but it was about a half hour drive this time of day. Sometimes he swore it would be easier to walk.

Both Drake and JJ were in good moods by the time they returned. The information had panned out and the evidence they needed had been found. Now to set the trap and wait. They met in the Chief's office to let him in on the good news and set up what they needed for the evening's activities.

That night the collar was a good one; it would stick. They had caught him red-handed, ready to torch the apartment building. They had everything but pictures. Well, maybe even them if the security cameras were still working. He and Drake were due for a celebration drink. Sometimes life was good.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Chapter 2

JJ was bored. Dee wasn't returning any of his advances, as usual, and he really wanted to party. Most of his other CI buddies were on second shift but he and Drake weren't due for second shift until tomorrow. Guess it was a good night for cruising the clubs. Drake looked at him like he was crazy when he asked him to go along. _One of these days, Drakey, I'll get you in one, and you'll like it_.

This was one of his favorite clubs, a little over the top and very expensive, but that didn't matter. Tonight there seemed to be a cream crop of new faces on pretty bodies. He was going to have fun tonight, he just knew it.

He'd worn his new suit, a charcoal grey tweed with a white silk shirt, top button open. Instead of a tie he wore a long, thin, black knit scarf around his neck that trailed seductively down his back. His silver hair had a blue rinse tonight, setting off the blue of his eyes quite nicely. He was looking good, and so were a few of the patrons. Now to find the right one for him.

He settled at the bar, seating himself with open seats on both sides. Just in case. He had just gotten his first drink served when he felt a tug on his scarf. Readying himself, he turned to face whomever it was that desired his attention.

He found himself looking into a pair of green eyes, not as bright as Dees but just as enticing. Bringing his focus back, he found those eyes were set in a very attractive face surrounded by dark auburn hair.

"Hi, may I sit here?" the stranger asked. His eyes traveled the length and breadth of JJ, the slight smile showing he was pleased by what he saw.

"Certainly, I'd be pleased to have you here. You're new here? I haven't seen you here before. Name's Jemy, but everybody calls me JJ. "He extended his hand to the newcomer.

Taking his hand with a slight squeeze he responded, "Pleasure too, name's Walter. I'm new around here. Just took a modeling job here in the city and trying to find the best spots to party. In my hometown we're lucky to find even one place that will have us, but here in the city, wow!"

JJ had seen Walter when he first entered the club, and had hoped to get the opportunity to talk with him. He carried himself well; his modeling training just enhanced his graceful demeanor. His clothes were straight from GQ and he had a tanned physique to die for. This guy could be competition for his god Dee. Well, almost.

"How about we move to a booth? It would be more comfortable there, and we could talk a bit more privately?" Smiling coyly JJ slid from the barstool and started to move toward a booth. Walter followed silently, watching JJ through guarded eyes.

They spent the next three hours talking, interspersed with a bit of flirting, before they decided to call it a night. Each had exchanged phone numbers and agreed to meet again Tuesday night, JJ's next available evening off.

On their next meeting things took off a bit more quickly. Walter invited JJ up to his apartment for drinks, which turned into a more relaxed atmosphere, which ended in the bedroom.

JJ woke the next morning to a sore behind and a note from Walter stating he had an early shoot that day and would call him later. After a quick shower JJ left to go home and ready himself for work.

JJ's thoughts were on Walter all through his shift that night, so much so that he missed a perfectly good glomp opportunity on Dee. Both Dee and Drake were surprised that an attack hadn't occurred. Dee walked up to his desk and felt JJ's forehead.

JJ raised his head and looked at Dee. "Huh?"

"I said, are you alright? You didn't pounce me. You always pounce me. What's wrong?" Dee looked adequately concerned.

"Oh, sorry. I was just thinking of some, er something. It's nothing important." Just then his cell phone rang. Muttering something like "gotta take this" as he jumped up and ran out toward the break room.

Dee looked after him, stunned. "I think our dear little JJ has somebody new lined up. Maybe I'll get a break now, other than in my back."

Drake laughed, "Yeah, you could use a break – oops, sorry dude, didn't mean it that way. Let all those bruises heal. You gotta be black and blue most of the time with the way he pounces you into the furniture and walls around here. I'll see if I can get him to talk later on. Let you know if I find out anything, OK?"

"Sounds like a plan to me. Hopefully my JJ backache is going to be a thing of the past."


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Chapter 3

JJ and Walter quickly became lovers, meeting every chance they got. Most of the time they met at Walter's place, but occasionally they met at JJ's. It was really beginning to look serious for JJ. Other than Dee, he had never spent so much time thinking of anyone.

Walter had money. His job as a model brought in good bucks and his physical looks guaranteed a continuation of the money flow. He had a swanky high-rise apartment in the high rent district of Manhattan. His taste in décor was cutting edge. Each room exhibited the best of what was offered. He was upper class all the way, and JJ enjoyed every bit of it.

Sexually Walter tended to be a bit rougher than JJ was accustomed. But he couldn't complain – the sex was good and often. But he also had little 'quirks' that he insisted on and JJ still felt uneasy about them.

Normally their workdays clashed but today JJ had the day off. He decided to watch Walter on the set of his latest shoot – a fashionable summer casual clothing layout being filmed in Central Park. Afterwards they intended to go to dinner and a movie before spending the night at Walter's place.

He watched Walter move through the shoot. Walter's body was solid, taut muscles moving beneath the muscle shirts and cargo pants. Rippling muscles showed through the sheer gauze beach shirts. The swim suits really pushed the limits of JJ's control. By the time the shoot was over JJ's body was reacting to _any_ move Walter's body made. He ready to throw him into the bushes and thoroughly molest every inch of his gorgeously tanned body. Maybe even twice. Perhaps it hadn't been such a good idea to watch the shoot.

JJ had finally reined in his emotions by the time Walter strode over to him and kissed him on the cheek. "Ready to go to dinner? I made reservations for us at our favorite Italian restaurant." Walter smiled at JJ, tugging him to his feet and pointing him toward the limousine waiting for them at the curb.

JJ was in a total funk. Things just couldn't get worse. He was trying to keep his emotions hidden, but wasn't sure if he could keep hold much longer.

Drake watched as his partner suffered in silence. Just the fact JJ didn't even notice that Dee had come and gone from the room was enough to say something was seriously wrong. He hated to see JJ this way. Whatever it was had to do with the drug bust earlier this morning.

Both he and JJ had been called in early to help the overnight shift with a drug bust. It was a routine bust, standard setup, and actually looked to snag a few new dealers in this time. They were separated during the raid, each leading officers into different areas of the club. It had been a very successful raid, netting about 20 dealers, some further up the chain than they normally got.

JJ was silent in the car on the ride back, too silent. By the time they had returned to the station JJ looked to be near tears. Drake had asked what was wrong but JJ only shook his head, giving the impression that he didn't want to talk. Knowing his partner Drake respected the silent request, hoping to get to the bottom of the matter some time during the day, maybe at lunch. If not, dinner was definitely in order.

JJ didn't want to go to lunch, but when the shift ended Drake grabbed him by the arm and kept him from leaving the office. This had to be settled. JJ hadn't said one word since the raid.

Drake turned JJ to face him, extreme concern on his face. "JJ, I know something is wrong. You're coming home with me tonight. We'll sort this out, OK? You've helped me many times, let me help you this once. Please."

JJ opened his mouth to say something but the tears started to flow before a word was spoken. Drake quickly closed and locked the office door, then moved JJ to the small sofa on the far wall.

"Dear god JJ, what's wrong? I've never seen you this upset." Not knowing what to do next, he pulled his handkerchief from his pocket and handed it to JJ. He settled himself beside JJ and put a comforting arm around him.

JJ fell forward with the handkerchief held to his eyes, burying his face in Drake's shoulder. It took a long while for JJ to finally stop shaking and sobbing. After taking several deep breaths and a quick swipe of the handkerchief he moved back and lifted his eyes to look at Drake.

"Can you keep a secret? Just between us? No one else? I mean this, nobody else. I need to trust you."

"JJ, you've let me cry on your shoulder – how many times now? – and never said a word. I promise I can and will do the same for you. Do you really need to ask?" Drake wondered what was so wrong that needed such a promise?

JJ sighed. "I guess I should start at the beginning. You've probably figured out that I found somebody, and we've been going out for several months now, right?"

"Yeah, but I didn't want to pry. I knew you would tell me about him when you were ready. Did something happen between you two?"

JJ offered a heartless laugh. "Yup, I'd say so." A few more tears managed to escape his now closed eyes. "Why can't I find the right guy?"

"Aw JJ, you will. What happened this time?" He really didn't like seeing his partner this upset. His blue eyes were rimmed red and bloodshot, his hair disheveled, his usually impeccable clothes wrinkled and wet with tears.

Those bloodshot eyes locked onto his. "You know those dealers we pulled in today?" A deep sadness controlled JJ's features. "He was one of them. I never had a clue. All I knew was that he was a model. We met in a club I frequent. He was so like what I wanted in a man …" His gaze dropped to his lap, followed by a few tears.

"I'm such a fool. He even called me that when I cuffed him at the raid. Along with a lot of other crass things. He admitted that he intended to see how low he could drag me. Oh Drake, I'm a cop, a detective! I shouldn't have gotten ensnarled in a one-sided love affair with a drug dealer. I feel so used, so stupid …"

JJ's voice trailed off and a new wave of tears started. Drake looked at him with compassion, then wrapped his arms around him and pulled him close. Drake's heart was as close to breaking as JJ's was. He couldn't bear to see his friend in this condition.

"Oh JJ, don't say that. You didn't know. He kept it from you. It's not your fault. You'll survive this. I'll be here to help you forget that bastard. He's not worth your tears." Drake firmed his hold on JJ. "Just let it all out; I'm here and I won't let go."

JJ cried for a bit more before fatigue finally took over. The tensions of the day had finally taken its toll on him. Drake roused him and guided him to the car. When they got to Drake's parking garage he had to waken JJ, who had no choice but to grudgingly go with Drake up to his apartment.

Drake found some pjs that would fit JJ and chased him into the shower. "Honest, you'll feel better once you've had a shower. Soap and shampoo are in the holder in the shower stall, washcloths and towels are on the back of the door. Holler if you need anything. I'll make us some coffee, OK?"

JJ muttered a reply but Drake had already gone to the kitchen.

When JJ exited the bathroom in the borrowed pjs Drake was sitting at the kitchen table, two cups of coffee and a box of donuts waiting with him.

"Feel better?"

"Yes, much. Thanks Drake, you're a real friend. I appreciate it, really. Thank you." JJ smiled then turned to give Drake a hug and kiss. He started to giggle after pulling back to look at Drake's face. "I thought only Ryo could blush that bright!"


	4. Chapter 4

Dear Brit - This is yours. Enjoy!

Chapter 4

JJ was looking for new places to visit, to see if he could find someone new, that_ special _someone. He hadn't given up totally on Dee, but a guy needed someone to keep him happy. The last string of guys had turned out to be real disasters, starting with Walter - that was almost two years ago. Maybe he was too trusting of others. Ha, that's funny. That's what everyone said of Ryo. And he definitely wasn't Ryo.

This wasn't the normal type of club JJ would frequent. It was quite deep in the Village, more homey and working class than his normal upscale haunts. The club was crowded that evening, odd for a Wednesday but then maybe not so odd for here.

He sat at the bar since most of the tables and booths were filled with couples, mostly male, enjoying the calm atmosphere of the club. It had a very warm, cozy feel. Dress was sexy casual with moderation, no flaming divas here. White tablecloths with frosted-glass Hurricane candles were on each table. Booths and tables lined two of the outer walls, a setup for a small band was on the third, and the fourth was home to a long mahogany bar with brass foot rails. The room was still large enough to accommodate a nice sized dance floor.

Just before he arrived the band had gone for a half hour break, clearing the dance floor and allowing a better view of the patrons of the club. His gaze took in the room. There didn't seem to be many singles here, everyone seemed paired off ... like this was more a place to enjoy an evening with one's lover rather than to find comfort with a stranger. There seemed to be a very subdued, friendly feel between most of the patrons, almost like family. He was beginning to feel like an intruder.

It was then he spotted Dee in a back corner, evidently out with friends for the evening. There were three others with him, none of whom he could see well enough to identify. The only reason he had seen Dee was that he was facing towards him and the table candle lit his gorgeous face with its soft glow.

Dee was wearing his grey satin shirt, unbuttoned down as far as he could see. Usually when he wore that shirt he had on his black jeans, the ones that nicely accentuated that perfect bottom that he dreamed of caressing. With the black belt with the silver Harley buckle. And the black biker boots. JJ had only seen him in that outfit a few times, and it had been a long time since he last saw him dressed like that. Like the last time he admitted to dating. Before Ryo.

Dee's hair was more relaxed than normal; there was no attempt to keep it neat and out of his eyes. Even though Dee was not looking his way he could see the glint of the candle in his eyes, adding a look of bedevilment to his already handsome face. He was smiling at the person directly opposite him. But it was a different smile than he normally wore on his face. This was a loving smile.

So he had been right, Dee had found someone else to replace Ryo. He couldn't even imagine Ryo in a place like this – everyone here was same-sex, and paired at that. But that also meant that Dee hadn't replaced Ryo with him. Dee had found another to lavish his attentions on. Now what should he do? He'd been delegated at least to third place in Dee's heart. He turned as he saw the bartender pass and ordered another drink. He needed it right now. He was glad he was in the shadows –no one would see the hurt in his eyes.

The band had started up again, and couples flooded the dance floor. JJ noticed that very few people were left at the tables, and none seemed to be singles. Yup, this club was off the list. This was someplace to go with a serious lover, not to find a new fling. So why was Dee here? He could no longer see the table where Dee and his friends sat; there were too many people on the dance floor.

When he saw Dee again he was on the dance floor, holding someone in his arms. His left hand cupped the right buttock of his dance partner, his right arm wrapped up and around to his partner's neck, which he was caressing. Dee's eyes were closed, his lips resting on his partner's hair. They looked way too comfortable for JJ's liking.

The dance partner had his right hand inside Dee's shirt; the other was behind Dee, probably holding that sexy ass JJ adored so much. He seemed to be kissing or nibbling on Dee's ear. He had to admit whoever it was, well, he was quite sexy. He definitely had the 'look' that Dee liked.

Who **was** that with him? The lighting was bad but he could see a fine, lithe body encased in a gold silk shirt, brown leather pants, and leather ankle boots. That hot, sexy body was clinging to Dee. Said body was slowly gyrating against Dee, rubbing his groin against Dee's thigh in a very provocative manner. JJ was extremely envious and jealous. Who was this interloper and how dare he touch _his_ Dee in that way?

But before he could move to approach the couple the other man turned his smiling face to look up at Dee, and JJ was finally able to identify Dee's date. The shock caused JJ to drop the drink in his hand, shattering it to pieces, exactly like his heart had just been shattered.

It was Ryo.

As the tears filled his eyes JJ made for the exit, not caring whom he ran into as he hastily left the dance area. Somehow he made it to his car, the sobs shivering though his body, his heart torn from him by the scene in the club. Ryo had taken his Dee. He sat there sobbing, not knowing how long he had been there, trying to make sense of what he had seen. Dee. His Dee. Being caressed by Ryo. Shy, sexless Ryo. Ryo in silk and leather. Tight leather. NO!

It took almost an hour to get himself under control and carefully drive back home. He entered his apartment but didn't turn on the lights. He didn't want light. The light would make this nightmare real. He would see himself for the fool he was.

He slowly moved toward the bedroom where he flopped on the bed fully dressed. Dee was taken. Dee was no longer available. Dee belonged to Ryo. No doubt about it now. Was this his fault? Did his chasing Dee force him into Ryo's arms? Should he have been more careful in how he expressed himself to Dee? Would it have made a difference? Could he have gotten further by being hard-to-get? Dee had already met Ryo by the time he had transferred in. Had it already been too late then? What if …?

Should have, would have, could have. It all made no difference. All that was in the past and he wasn't in Dee's future. That was Ryo's domain. Unwanted tears soaked his pillow. It would be a long night.

Next step: Like, Like, Love


End file.
